Portal 2, early release is staged and all lies

Portal 2 is being released 'early' according to the viral marketing campaign, but are they really? GlaDos has finally started using the potatoes which are supposed to overclock the 'CPUS' which are being unlocked around the clock. However, some are wondering if it's all staged.





According to the people who are working around the clock to get the early release of Portal 2, the game can release NO EARLIER THAN TUESDAY AT MIDNIGHT in some places. What was Valve thinking? you might have asked; well, Valve may have been trying to be like GlaDos.












• GlaDos promised Chell there would be a cake at the end of Portal, but there was no cake - the cake is a lie.
• Valve promised fans there would be an early release at the end of the ARG, but there is no early release - the early release is a lie.


It is all a lie, according to those who believe the theory; I smell lawsuits and investigations coming!







Here is GlaDos' Log so far:


08:57 - Default boot scheduled to finish in 19:23:01
08:58 - Activating emergency distributed computing grid...
09:00 - GLaDOS@home starting...
09:01 - Recruiting cpus to force faster boot sequence...
19:55 - Calculations complete for The Wonderful End of the World. Recalculating a new launch projection...
11:55 - Calculations complete for 1... 2... 3... Kick It!. Recalculating a new launch projection...
21:00 - Calculations complete for AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! - A Reckless Disregard for Gravity. Recalculating a new launch projection...
04:00 - Calculations complete for RUSH. Recalculating a new launch projection...
10:15 - Calculations complete for Cogs. Recalculating a new launch projection...
15:35 - Calculations complete for Toki Tori. Recalculating a new launch projection...
20:20 - Calculations complete for BIT.TRIP BEAT. Recalculating a new launch projection...
10:50 - Engaging starch-based power cells
11:00 - Reboot safety test protocol initiated...
11:00 - Relaxation chamber locks released...
11:00 - Involuntary hazard mitigation associates have assumed testing positions...
11:00 - Pre-release lethality assessment initiated...


So, it looks to me that this is all fixed. They SOMEHOW unlocked at EXACTLY 11:00, which seems a little suspicious. It seems that Valve has fixed the whole thing to unlock only at a specific time! What was Valve thinking? Only time may tell.


Will we get an early release? Not according to GlaDos, so far!




If you still believe there's hope to play early: CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT HOW TO HELP!




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